Hope Tangles on a String

It doesn't matter what you think about me.

2011-12-02T03:43:00.002+08:00

I was reading my blog archives from Secondary School and I realised something. I realised that a lot of the girls in Coral apparently hated me. Geez.

It's not my fault I'm fabulous. :)

xo, Nadiah

I'm sad.

2011-11-28T17:54:00.000+08:00

And I feel like baking.I just wanna bake, eat everything I bake, and just stay here in sadness.

Time, why won't you stop?

2011-11-28T05:26:00.000+08:00

I see the world passing by.
Thoughts and emotions are spinning in my head.
Here I am, stagnant and unchanged.

Ghost.

2011-11-27T02:37:00.000+08:00

Insomnia.

2011-11-25T03:40:00.001+08:00

She can't sleep at night.
Exhausted, teary-eyed.
Her eyes just won't close.

Dear heart, please don't cry.

2011-11-24T04:15:00.000+08:00

One day, I'll be standing right there.

2011-11-23T19:24:00.000+08:00

British artist Joe Hill drew the world's largest and longest 3D anamorphic street painting in the Canary Wharf district of London.

Giving your heart to somebody, that's the scary part.

2011-11-23T03:38:00.000+08:00

I am sad. Oh, so sad.

Sigh, spending my wee hours listening to sad songs yet another time. I don't know why I keep on doing this to myself..

Its pathetic Nadiah. Why don't you just snap out of it? You know the answer is crystal clear, yet you still yearn for that moment for things to change.

It won't change - not for you, not ever so stop dwelling on it and snap out of it!

Sadly, I can't. I've tried numerous times and I just can't. I know I've said this several times before but I'm so fucking sick of being understanding and patient. WHY must I be the one to sacrifice MY feelings and wants EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN TIME? Why me?!

I feel like I am done with all the crap that all of you have put me through. Putting all that pressure on you would be fine if it does not involve me but when I'm affected; do you honestly think I'd sit idly by? Enough of making me like a fool, I won't be taken granted for anymore.

I've voiced my feelings to you yet it still remains as though it was unheard.

Saying "I can't afford to give you more right now" wasn't the right thing to say. It just diminished me even more and I'm at my wits end.

Ya Allah, please help me. Please help me see things more clearly and please let me make the right decision, I beg of you. I just don't know how much more of this I could take.

I've asked you to paint me a picture of your future to let me have an insight to your thoughts> You've never ever tell me anything and it's always so troublesome and tiring to have to ask you these questions..

Of course I'm elated to hear that I am always in your future.. but I don't know if I would actually be in it.

I love you, I really do but I just don't know how much more I could handle everything. Not being able to meet you is one thing, but there is also other elements that plays its' part in this web of mess we call our relationship.

And to top the icing of this shitty cake, I have a bone to pick with your family. I know it's a low blow and you're going to be really pissed at me for saying this but I REALLY want to grab each and every one of their shoulders and shout "Wake the fuck up and stop treating the 20 year old like he's fucking 5!!".

There you go. This just confirms my status of being ostracised from the family for good.

But seriously. he is no longer a child, my dears. He's a man and all of you just have to accept that fact and get on with your lives. Oh, the horror.

I will never ever agree with the way you are brought up and if I were to be part of your family in the future, I'm sorry but I would never allow any of them to tell me how to raise my own offsprings.

Sigh, that boy. I don't know what to do with you, my love.

You know, giving your heart to somebody, that's the scary part.. Cos you'd always find it to be broken and it's so damn difficult to get it back.

xo, Nadiah

I don't want.. I just want..

2011-11-22T05:15:00.000+08:00

I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars,
I don’t want gemstones or gold.
I just want to fall asleep, and wake up, knowing my heart is safe.
I want a steady hand, a kind soul.

Stole my breath away.

2011-11-21T22:51:00.000+08:00

I want to..

2011-11-20T10:41:00.000+08:00

I want to go on a road trip.
Just you, me, the highway, and the radio.
The blue sky, the back roads, and the windows down.
We'll talk about everything and nothing and we'll sing out hearts out and we'll make memories we'll never, ever forget.
Just you and me.

Just you and me. ♥

When a boy does this to a girl..

2011-11-20T07:29:00.000+08:00

I chanced upon this picture.
My heart aches.
How much I yearn for this.

Who Are You When I'm Not Looking.

2011-11-20T07:16:00.000+08:00

Under your thumb, I can't breathe.

2011-11-01T02:38:00.000+08:00

2.32am - sitting in my bed inspired to pen down my thoughts and feelings. With my earbuds in, listening to Adele for company.

Like a ghost,
Trailing me still.
Whispering lies, doubts.

The type of kisses where teeth collide.

2011-10-11T02:31:00.000+08:00

Hello OnSugar. Did you miss me?I decided to blog a short post before sleeping, so here I am. :) Wow, it feels hella weird to blog after not blogging for a while. And posting a picture/quotes/short posts do not count as blogging! Its going to be a pretty busy 2 weeks for me. Sigh October, please be kind to me?Been feeling under the weather for the past week too. Thank God my fever is down but my cough is still terrorising me! :( Its been a week now and I'm still coughing like a maniac. It comes to a point that when I cough, the sides of my tummy hurts really bad. Maybe I should go back to the doctor's to get better medicine. Please don't let it be bronchitis again. :(Yesterday, I took a little time to filter my Tumblr blog. I've privatised all the posts I've written there cos I feel that its too personal for the WWW. My heart ached upon reading the posts. 2011, why are you being so harsh with me? Don't I deserve a little break from all these obstacles that you've put me through/putting me through? I'm exhausted. I truly am. Have mercy on me, will you?(Selena Gomez's I love you like a love song is playing in the background right now. Its annoying omg.)Soooo, today I had an impromptu shopping trip and I'm happy with my buys! Ahhh, shopping is therapeutic. I've been having a pretty funky mood lately so I needed the retail therapy. Like what I've always said, "Shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist." so shop your sadness away ladies! Even Dzul went shopping the other time. He bought himself another VANS! Tak habis-habis that boy. He loves splurging on expensive shoes. Zzzz. But he claims that all men's shoes are pricey. -.-So anyways, NET at Tampines 1 is having a closing down sale so I bought 3 tees! They're so cute, I feel happy! -.- HAHA. Bought a dress and jacket at BHG Century Square too. Going to Sephora on Wednesday with Atiqah too! Yayyyyy. Its been quite awhile since I've been to Sephora. Its my only free day this week and I'm spending my afternoon with one of my closest friend. <3OH! I forgot to mention. I've got another kitty in the house! She's a ragdoll kitten, that playful thing. Her name is Marie and she's the most manja kitten ever! If you think Baby is manja, she's a million times more! Such a cutiepie!LALALA, I shall head to bed now. Will try to blog soon! Blogging on my BlackBerry is weird. I'm not sending this post via email cos I've deactivated my hotmail to my BlackBerry. Using Gmail at the moment. Alrighty then, goodnight!P.S. I miss Dzul. :(xo, Nadiah

Facade.

2011-09-25T13:57:00.000+08:00

When you don't feel a part of it. When you feel so left out. When you feel that there's nothing left for you. When you feel that it isn't true. When you feel that its not moving forward. When you feel like you're in a rut. When you feel like its all repititive. When you feel like you need more. When you feel so helpless. When you feel in the dark. When you feel like you're all alone. When you feel like you're just waiting for time to pass by. When you feel like you're living in a sea of srangers. When you feel like the closest person to you isn't so close afterall. When you feel so lost. When you feel so tired of every single thing. When you feel like you've been living a lie. When you feel like there's no one you can turn to. When you feel like you have no one. When you feel like you're done with things. When you feel you like you just need to escape. When you feel sad. When you feel like no one could ever understand how you feel. When you feel the whole world against you.

When you feel numb.

17September2011

2011-09-25T13:45:00.000+08:00

Reverse Zoo.

2011-09-22T01:09:00.000+08:00

This is so cool! I wanna goo!

HAHAHA!

2011-09-22T00:58:00.000+08:00

I ALMOST DIED LAUGHING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

I didn't know I'm bisexual.

2011-09-19T16:44:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, a little birdie told me something hilarious!

I swear, upon hearing it, I literally started laughing out loud for quite awhile! I swear, 17 year old girls are getting stupid and stupid. MY GOD. LOL.

Soooooo,

That's the gist of it, I'm too lazy to type it all out today. And yes, I realise the grammatical error in the status update. :)

xo, Nadiah

No one...

2011-09-15T02:20:00.000+08:00

There's a lot of things I can say. And there's a lot of things I want to say. But its just so hard to put all my feelings into words.

No one could ever bear to be in my shoes...

But hey, at least they're pretty. And they would probably be killer heels.

Conflicted.

2011-09-14T17:20:00.000+08:00

I've been going back and forth in my mind. Why, WHY am I so ficke-minded?

When you feel so out of place...

2011-09-13T18:02:00.000+08:00

You step aside and leave.

Quote

2011-09-13T18:00:00.000+08:00

"A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her."

Marilyn Monroe

If you can survive, you must remember that I love you.

2011-09-09T12:43:00.000+08:00

This is a true story of Mother’s Sacrifice during the Japan Earthquake.

After the Earthquake had subsided, when the rescuers reached the ruins of a young woman’s house, they saw her dead body through the cracks. But her pose was somehow strange that she knelt on her knees like a person was worshiping; her body was leaning forward, and her two hands were supporting by an object. The collapsed house had crashed her back and her head.

With so many difficulties, the leader of the rescuer team put his hand through a narrow gap on the wall to reach the woman’s body. He was hoping that this woman could be still alive. However, the cold and stiff body told him that she had passed away for sure.

He and the rest of the team left this house and were going to search the next collapsed building. For some reasons, the team leader was driven by a compelling force to go back to the ruin house of the dead woman. Again, he knelt down and used his had through the narrow cracks to search the little space under the dead body. Suddenly, he screamed with excitement,” A child! There is a child! “

The whole team worked together; carefully they removed the piles of ruined objects around the dead woman. There was a 3 months old little boy wrapped in a flowery blanket under his mother’s dead body. Obviously, the woman had made an ultimate sacrifice for saving her son. When her house was falling, she used her body to make a cover to protect her son. The little boy was still sleeping peacefully when the team leader picked him up.
The medical doctor came quickly to exam the little boy. After he opened the blanket, he saw a cell phone inside the blanket. There was a text message on the screen. It said,” If you can survive, you must remember that I love you.” This cell phone was passing around from one hand to another. Every body that read the message wept. ” If you can survive, you must remember that I love you.” Such is the mother’s love for her child!!

Credits: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150279686944007&set=a.248666659006.135873.531174006&type=1&ref=nf

Eid ♥

2011-08-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin!

Broken smile.

2011-08-29T00:47:00.000+08:00

"Your sad broken smileUnder every sullen sighA shattering heart."

Save me from falling apart?

2011-08-27T05:21:00.000+08:00

Me: I don't want to give you my heart. You'll mistreat it... again.

Dzul: I won'ttttttt.

Me: Its still in pieces </3

Dzul: Nooooo. I'll pick it up.

Me: And do what with it?

Dzul: Replace it with mine. I don't need mine. I'll treasure yours insted.

Me: I told you, I don't want to give you my heart. Its not yet healed. It can't handle another betrayal.

Dzul: It won't go another betrayal. :(

Me: I don't believe you. Even if you succeed putting the pieces into place, you can still see the cracks. It will never be the same again.

Dzul: Everybody's heart have cracks. Everybody's geart were never the same. But only those brave enough to take care of it again deserves it. I want your heart again. I know I can care for it again.

Me: But it will never go back to how it was before you broke it. The heart I gave to you once is long gone.

Dzul: And I'll always regret that. I really do. Nothing I say now will change anything... I still, had always, and will always love you.

Quote

2011-08-19T23:41:00.000+08:00

"At the end of the day, all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that."

Love the way you lie.

2011-08-19T23:36:00.000+08:00

Strawberries vs Dendeng.

2011-08-16T01:17:00.000+08:00

Last Friday, Dzul and I went to the Hari Raya Bazaar at Geylang to eat Pasar Malam food for buka. At one point of time, he starts feeding me dendeng.

Me: You should be feeding me strawberries instead of dendeng!
Dzul: Yeah, and instead of the open field, we're at Geylang.

Hahaha. Zzzz.

I should.

2011-08-11T22:43:00.000+08:00

Stop being so lazy, Nur Nadiah!

Chocolate Chip Cornflakes Macaroons.

2011-08-11T17:38:00.000+08:00

Ever since we entered the month of Ramadhan, I've been in the spirit of Hari Raya! And although its only been 10 days of fasting, I've told my friends that I'm over puasa and I want Hari Raya to be now! Hehe #taktahumalu #ihavenoshame

Anyways! I've been collecting some recipes so I can bake! I've tried one new recipe so far and I've got awesome response to it! I rushed baking this so don't mind the meh pictures taken. (A)

So here it is...

Chocolate Chip Cornflakes Macaroons!

Ingredients:

3 Egg Whites
210 grams of Powdered Sugar
1/4 teaspoon Salt

1/4 teaspoon Cream of Tartar
1/2 teaspoon Vanilla Essence
220 grams of Milk Chocolate
120g slightly crushed cornflakes

Method:

1. Preheat the oven at 162 degrees Celsius (I preheat and bake at 165 degrees Celsius and reduce baking time instead)

2. Seperate the egg yolks from the egg whites.

I broke an egg yolk! :(

3. Whisk egg whites until foamy.

Or for lazy people like me, use an electric mixer!

4. Once egg whites are foamy, add in salt.

5. Next, add powdered sugar one tablespoon at a time (add, mix, add, mix, add, mix)

6. Continue mixing until all sugar is used and stiff peaks form.

7. Add cream of tartar.

8. And vanilla essence.

9. And mix mix mix well!

10. Add in chocolate chips.

11. And crushed cornflakes.

12. Fold the chocolate chips and cornflakes into the meringue.

13. Scoop teaspoonfuls of mixture into baking cups. (You could also scoop the mixture onto baking sheets instead of baking cups if you're not baking this for Hari Raya/Festive Occasions)

14. And bake for 20 minutes until meringue firms up and cornflakes are crunchyyy!

15. Done!

Tips:

If you're baking at 165 degrees celcius instead of 162, bake for 15 to 18 minutes instead (My first batch got slightly brown instead of white).
Its not necesarry to use cream of tartar BUT I prefer using it as it gives a crispy texture to the Macaroons.
Add more chocolate chips and cornflakes according to preference. You can even exclude this.
Stiff peaks means that when you pull the beater out of the eggs, the peak formed on the end of the beater holds its shape when you turn the beater upside down.
Make sure the mixing bowl you use is CLEAN and DRY to ensure egg whites to peak.
When folding the chocolate chip and cornflakes into meringue, use a baking spatula instead of a whisk. This will prevent mixture getting stuck in between metals.
Store end product in air tight containers.

Wilton Tips

2011-08-11T01:05:00.000+08:00

Itching for a set of Wilton Tips! I wonder if Daddy would buy me a set if I begged and begged for one.

Hmm, maybe I'll head down to Phoon Huat tomorrow to find out the price of the tips... I hope it won't be too expensive!

August Ninth.

2011-08-09T06:03:00.000+08:00

Although the picture was taken in black and white, I was being patriotic okay! The stripes are red! Lol.

Back to sleep. xoxo.

Hari Raya Bazaar Geylang 2011

2011-08-07T02:30:00.000+08:00

Oh my god. After 5 very long years, I decided to FINALLY go to the Hari Raya Bazaar at Geylang!

The reason why I refused to go there is because of the crowds. I despise crowds! And of course the bazaar would be filled with smoke, mats and minahs, the horrible human contact (bumping into people, getting hit in the boobs and butt!) and of course the heat!

But I decided to be brave and visit the bazaar with Nash on Friday, 5th Aug, so that we can buka yummy bazaar food!

And it was awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

We had Chicken Kebab with extra sauce, Ham & Cheese Takoyaki and Ayam Percik! And for dessert, we had Turkish ice cream! Such a sinful and heavy buka right!

We didn't get this on Friday but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS! I don't know what's it called but its marinated meat in hotdog buns topped with mayonaise and chilli sauce! Absolutely sinful and its something that everyone has to try!

BEST AYAM PERCIK at the Bazaar! If you walk around the bazaar (there's two long stretches of bazaar + pasar geylang area), you can find MANY stalls selling ayam percik. BUT, this stall has the most yummy looking ayam percik! Can you see the sauce dripping down the chicken wing? Plus they cook the chicken on the wooden stick. I don't think that the stick enhances the flavour or anything but its authentic, no?

Meh looking and fail ayam percik at one of the stalls there. On chopsticks somemore! Lol.

The kebab I ate for buka was definitely worth your money. At $5, you get a huge roll of bread filled with tender chicken bits with peppery sauce and lettuce. A must buy! The stall is located near Mr Teh Tarik food court (at the Jamiyah Business School building.)

And of course.. No fasting month is complete without some Turkish ice cream! Vanilla or chocolate (or mix) turkish ice cream on wafer cones for dessert.

Perfection.

Going back this Friday night with the boyfriend! Yayyyy. I can't wait for more yummy food!

xo, Nadiah

Far far away.

2011-08-03T06:40:00.000+08:00

I'm hopeful.

I've only told two people so far but I pray that it will happen.

I need to breathe.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Its just a matter of time.

2011-08-03T06:30:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder...

Why am I being so nice to these people? I don't think they deserve it.

I'd willingly spend the time and effort to please them or to help them in any way that they need and for what? To get betrayed? To get hurt again and again?

I'm always there for them when they need to be, no questions ask. But when it comes to ME, everything seems to be so damn hard.

Furthermore, they have no problem being assholes to me.

I'm not saying that whatever I did was insincere. I just don't understand why I bothered in the first place.

I'm even more ashamed to admit that I still stuck with them regardless of the shit they did to me.

I'm no pushover though. They're walking on thin ice and I'm already seeing the cracks.

So fine. Take me for granted.

One day, you will realise how much I was there for you when I'm gone.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

No, I'm not dead. I'm just lazy.

2011-07-23T02:05:00.000+08:00

I've yet to update my blog. I've been wanting to post a couple of things but they're either in drafts, or still not typed out yet (because I'm lazy).

Things pretty much have been the same. Same meaning ups and many many downs. And I can pretty much summarise the down with a few words. And they are...

Its about the same damn issue.

Dash dot dash.

I AM SO SICK OF IT.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Superhero name.

2011-07-23T01:55:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA, I can be so lame sometimes.

I <3 having BBM conversations with Angela J Sibert!

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Someday karma will bite you in the ass, and I'm going to laugh.

2011-07-08T00:08:00.000+08:00

There's gotta be some record for being single for 25 hours.

No one would ever get another boyfriend (unless you're a slut) in 25 hours and no one would ever go back to your ex-boyfriend in that same amount of time.

Well, I did. I gave him yet another chance.

Two days ago, I broke up with Dzul.

I was firm with my decision and was confident that nothing would change it. I had made up my mind and I didn't want to be with someone who betrayed my trust over and over again!

WHO WOULD?!

I'll blog more about it this weekend.

xo, Nadiah

43. I hate it when someone younger than me is being a total bitch by acting like they know everything.

2011-07-07T23:47:00.000+08:00

deadbeatingheart:

I can't just reblog this on my Tumblr. It deserves to be here too.

You know who you are ;)

sings I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!

2011-07-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

I CAN'T WAIT!

Jar of Hearts.

2011-07-06T02:18:00.000+08:00

"this song is about a girl would loved a boy with every part of her and he loved her deeply but he didn't fully understand what he had when he was with her, breaking up was the hardest decision she had to make, she could see he felt something for someone else even though he said he still loved her and would deny any feelings for the other girl, but he wanted to see if there was something better and not settle down just yet for he was only so young, so after she had enough of the lies she left him and he chose to purse the other girl, but all the while his first love was on his mind. She was still heart broken and still loved him, but hates what he did to her at the same time. even looking at him brought memories of what they had together, and she felt as though no one could replace what she had with him. a year goes by and throughout the year the boy stays with the other girl but knows it was not anywhere near the magic he had with his first love. he comes back into her life wanting her advice and help with what he should do, wanting his first love to tell him that she still needs him. but she has learnt never to trust him again, she will never let someone throw her away to find something better and then come to the realisation that she was the best he could have ever had and expect her to jump straight back into his arms. he hurt her so deeply that just coming back into her life wont fix it, she wishes she never met him so he could have never hurt her, wishes he didnt have any control over her, and wishes she never fell in love with a liar. who does he think he is coming back into her life after lying and choosing someone else to replace her, it will never work because of all the hurt he caused, all the lies he said and the hate created. the scar will be with her for the rest of her life but its a reminder to her to never let someone steal a part of her again, never to be tricked into believing empty words but mostly it is a reminder to never be tricked by him again. the scar is a learning curve so she can only improve what she has from now on and as soon as there is doubt she will let her heart take over and end it before she gets another gash that should have been prevented from the start."

Dark Shokolatttttttttt.

2011-07-01T03:15:00.000+08:00

Hi I'm Nads. And that's Dzul.

2011-06-26T19:42:00.000+08:00

FINALLY OnSugar's picture uploader thing is working again! WOOO!

& yes, I look __________. LOL.

Like the ends of a magnet.

2011-06-22T22:13:00.000+08:00

I've been starting to bake again lately and I love it!

I don't remember why I decided to stop baking (maybe cos of the clean up work!) but I'm really getting into it again and I'm happy :)

Baking has like a calming effect on me somehow. And when you end up with such a yummylicious and pretty end product, you can't help yourself but to feel proud of yourself! *clap clap*

I would upload pictures I took, but OnSugar isn't letting me upload anything :(

Anyways, it occurred to me last night that my hobbies really differs from each other! They're like the north and south pole!

Firstly, I like writing. I like putting my thoughts into words and just spilling my guts out on paper. Poetry used to be an outlet of those thoughts I feel. Believe it or not, I used to join poetry competitions in school. Hahaha. I won prizes and got my poems published in "Scibbles" - a book filled with Haikus, Poems, Essays, etc from Coral Secondary. And even more unbelievable, I got stories published in "Tinta Minda" too! Its a Malay version of Scribbles!

Besides writing, I do enjoy the occasional sketching/painting, strumming the guitar and playing the piano. Its fun!

Next, I like playing video games! I like shooting the heads of zombies and killing humans. Yes, that's right. I love playing Left 4 Dead/2. LOVE IT. I'm sadistic in a way.

And lastly, of course, baking! I love making cute cupcakes with rainbow sprinkles, cherries, fondent, frosting and whatnots!

See! How could I go from artistic and calming to shooting zombies to making deserts and swooning over cute designs such as Hello Kitty?

I'm such a complex girl.

Vanilla Chocolate Scented Candles.

2011-06-16T01:35:00.000+08:00

Lit a few candles around my room and they smell sooooo goood.

Goodnight ♥

xo, Nadiah

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Perhaps?

2011-06-13T01:44:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when I take one second to think about it, I wonder. Maybe its envy or maybe its just that I want to have what is rightfully mine without having to fight for it.

I think its both. Definitely both.

Cos without having it constantly, the green eyed monster would appear. And to see that the other party is having a ball makes it all even worst.

I want to be able to feel that it is always there in my grasp and oh so willing to let me hold it and have it.. But I can't. Its getting way too tiring trying to be happy but I just want more.

Of course I should count my blessings and appreciate what I have right now cos I know what I'm dealing with.. But can't I just have a little more?

Pretty please.

The breezy whiffs of salt.

2011-06-02T19:51:00.000+08:00

I've been wanting to go to the beach for quite sometimes so I threw a small tantrum (hehehe) and sulked till Dzul brought me to the beach on Monday!

Soooo we met at Bedok MRT Station in the morning and cabbed to Parkway Parade to have an early lunch. We both had the boxmaster Meal from KFC which was omgsohugeee and ohsoyummeh! It did gave me a tummyache after that though. Was horribly fullllllllll.

Talked, played kiddy games and enjoyed the breeze. ♥

I love you.

If you don't have trust, you have nothing.

2011-06-02T18:21:00.000+08:00

I don't know what was his real intentions when he did what he did. Was it because he was simply curious or is he lying to himself (and me) and isn't really over her. Or maybe it was just vindictive. God knows. Men are from Mars.

And although I've settled this matter with him, it still lingers at the back of my mind, refusing to vanish. I can't help it but to think about it at times.

It often happens when I'm in bed at night, trying to drift into a peaceful slumber when the thoughts rush at me and trying to block it out of my head most of time makes the impact harder at night. Filled with rage, it comes banging on the locked door that it was held captive.

"Free me, bitch!"

Maybe some people would think that it is a trivial matter and I am over-reacting about, well, nothing. But it matters to me!

When you decided to do it, did I ever crossed your mind? When you were doing it, did it ever occurred to you of the consequences and did you even take my feelings into account? The day, the moment you did it, did you ever thought of how I would react if I were ever to find out?

It was supposed to be my special day, but you did it anyway.

I know you said that its purely coincidental but how could you ever thought of doing that when you said those special words mere hours ago?

Sometimes, I wonder if it was better I didn't know about it. I guess not.

That weekend, when you technically stood me up. You hurt me even more. To think that I found out when I was outside and tearing all the way to my friend's house before crying was bad but to not want to meet me and giving incoherent excuses actually hurt me more than the actual act.

Its as though you didn't care.

When I was confiding to Nash about the problem I was having, she said something which I already knew.

She said that if he could do this to you when you're just dating, how can you see a future with him? God knows what else he could do in the future. If he goes to THAT EXTEND to keep it a secret and go behind your back when you have no legal ties to each other, how could you take one step further in the relationship? And him refusing to be with his girlfriend when she's upset from what you did, what kind of boyfriend are you?

I hated myself so much when I am the one who is doing all the work trying to make it better. I'm the one who confronted, I was the one who wanted to talk and I was the one who asked for a face to face talk.

Why should I, Nur Nadiah be the one who does all that when I am not in the wrong. He is! Why isn't he doing ANYTHING AT ALL?!

Again, its as though you didn't care.

And it hurt so fucking much.

The amount of tears I shed, the amount of sleep I lost, the amount of time used to think about you and your actions, the amount of hurt you caused me to feel... you will never know.

I know that I've more or less settled this with you but I just wanted to rant it out here. I didn't before and I wanted to just so I could release some of the feelings that is still hovering with me.

And yes, I do realised that I've used second and third person narrative for the same person. It IS a rant.

In the meantime...

2011-05-31T17:01:00.000+08:00

I've got quite a bit of things to blog about but the internet has been down at home. Boo!

Its going to be up and running again on Monday so I'll blog then. In the meantime, I'm just going to post pictures. :)

Always.

2011-05-29T21:10:00.000+08:00

Alone.
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To grow old with you.

2011-05-27T16:58:00.000+08:00

Recent things.

2011-05-20T16:22:00.000+08:00

Blogged on 19 May 2011, 3PM.

Sorry I haven't been blogging. I didn't have the blogging mood you know.

So on Monday, I had an impromptu date with Dzul. We watched Fast 5 at The Cathay. Can I just say that the movie is really really goood! Its funny and exciting and face paced and there was never a dull part! I'd rate it 5/5 macaroons!

I didn't want to eat Popeys initially but kesian the boyfriend lah. Always craving for Popeyes but never able to have it cos there's none in the West (HAHAHA). And boy oh boy. He was very happy cos he got top eat his Mashed Potato! And yes, I absolutely love the mashed potato too. I think its THE BEST mashed potato evahhhhh. Oh yums yums.

Trained back to Pasir Ris to meet Badrul Shameerul Bin Badrul Hisham for frozen yoghurt and cup walker/bitching session.

Yay to chocolate frozen yoghurt from Devil's Yoghurt and his Wicked Comrades.. My favourite! Lovelove!

Bought a new red lipstick from M.A.C yesterday. Its from the M.A.C. Original Matte range and its called "Red Russian". Its a hot red colour with a blue undertone. This means that it complements people with a cooler undertone (skin).

I think everyone can pull off the red lipstick, its just that we should find the suitable colour for your skin.

I wanted to replenish my other lippie but it was DISCONTINUED! Oh the horror!

Apparently it got discontinued a few months back and i didn't know! Where can I get "Snob" now? :( Its such a pretty nude-pink lipstick. Well there's "Faux" which is the closest to the colour but stillllll.

Anyway, go and try Strawberry and Cream Frappuccino with Soy Milk from Starbucks! Its omgwtf niceeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Orgasmic!

Don't you just hate me for blogging a shallow post? =P

Cos I haven't blogged in a while...

2011-05-19T11:10:00.000+08:00

Here's an over-exposed picture of myself.

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Thoughts.

2011-05-16T02:20:00.000+08:00

If he or she is truly your soul mate, you would end up with the person regardless right?

Sometimes I don't feel like I have the strength to put up the same freaking facade over and over again.

I really should stop blogging about these kind of things here.

Goodnight. ♥
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Mother's Day.

2011-05-10T07:15:00.000+08:00

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Well, it's always better when we're together. Yeah it's always better when we're together.

2011-05-06T14:29:00.000+08:00

The only news I read is from following st.com on Twitter.

2011-05-04T15:20:00.000+08:00

Geez man, its only SGD$66 for off peak days! Stop being so frugal!

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Amethyst.

2011-05-04T02:55:00.000+08:00

After a long day of being out. Excuse my bottom lashes.

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Ichigo!

2011-05-03T20:05:00.000+08:00

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Rants.

2011-05-03T18:22:00.000+08:00

I've made it clear on Twitter that I do not believe in being friends with one's ex.

Why?

Because there's a history and feelings might rekindle.

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way because several of my friends re-tweeted it. I also know that not everyone feels the same way as I do. Yes, its subjective. I know. You don't need to tell me that.

When I say "feelings might rekindle", it doesn't mean I have no faith in myself and would succumb into dating my ex again if I were to be friends with him. Its just that prevention is better than cure honey. Furthermore, I take my boyfriend's feelings into account. He wouldn't be happy if I were to talk/meet up with my ex right?

And also, I'm not bothered. :)

Although I feel strongly about this matter, I'm not the sort of person who would force my boyfriend to delete his ex-girlfriend off say, his Facebook account for example. That's his problem if he wants to keep his ex on his social networking sites.

I'm not one to preach my believes onto others.

You don't know what happened that led to the delete, and I'm not bothered to explain myself cos I know I am not in the wrong. (Plus, its none of anyone's business!) But I can tell you that it was a compromise between the Dzul and I. And although both requests are unreasonable, its a compromise. So sorry, if I "dragged you into it".

And I've never "used you as an excuse to find fault with another person". How significant are you in my life?

Jangan nak terasa.

I think its funny how she said I'm stalking her... She's the one who read my blog, she's the one who followed me on Twitter first and she's the one who added me on Facebook. I only accepted her just to be nice.

Okay, I do find her pleasant to talk to online, but it still doesn't mean we're buddies. I've never wanted to get to know her initially.

And you know what bugs me? Its not the fact that she posted a sarcastic status update about me. Its not the fact that she posted multiple updates about me in the past and its not even the fact that you asked me to meet up with you the first time we ever chatted (it did make me go "o...kay....." though)

Its the fact that she thinks I'm insecure and that I'm paranoid, thinking she wants to steal my boyfriend away from me.

Lol.

She Facebook messaged me this when I didn't accept her on Facebook initially and even @mention me on twitter.

If my boyfriend wants to ditch me for you, he can do so. Its his loss, not mine. Of course I'll be sad if he does that, but I'm not the kind of person to beg for a guy to stay with me.

Like Gloria Steinem once said,

"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."

I'm not on her Facebook/Twitter list anymore. Dzul thinks that its best if we weren't on each other's social networks. In fact, he thinks I should have removed her long ago. And Badrul did the honours. Thanks! :)

This would be the last post I'd blog about this matter. Hopefully.

The world doesn't revolve around you. Don't flatter yourself.

2011-05-02T23:10:00.000+08:00

I wasn't born yesterday honey. I know sarcasm when I see one. You don't know the events happened that led up to it so don't act as though you do.

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This is why I love you.

2011-04-30T03:40:00.000+08:00

Me: Do you love her? (Referring to myself)

Dzul: Very very much.

Me: With every fibre of your being?

Dzul: Yup. Totally.

Me: Why?

Dzul: Cos she's one I could only think of everyday. One I'm always afraid never to be there when I'm awake. One I always have dreams of when I close my eyes. And one who's warm embrace I think of before I went to sleep.

Me: :')

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Good (Screaming) Friday.

2011-04-27T00:10:00.000+08:00

Last Friday was a Public Holiday so Badrul and I went out!

We had an early dinner at Pastamania and watched Scream 4 afterwards!

And omggg, the movie was awesome!!! The best out of all 4 of the movies, I think. Such an unexpected ending AND I never seen Emma Roberts act like that! (Y)

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Koi Koi Koi!

2011-04-27T00:00:00.000+08:00

Ice-cream Milk Tea, you're so evil!

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Bronchitis.

2011-04-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired of coughing. Seriously.

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Nightmares.

2011-04-25T03:01:00.000+08:00

Blogged on April 16th.

I'm typing these out since they're still fresh in my mind. I often forget my dreams and. nightmares and I'm not going to forget this one. I'm trying my best to hold back my eyes from closing. I'm really sleepy, my eyes are even tearing. But I really don't want to forget this one. (And in case if I fall asleep, I'd dream of another one)

I've been horribly sick the past week and every time when I close my eyes and let my mind and soul drift into la la land, I'd dream.

About death.

You see, at first it was harmless. I'm sure everyone dreamed about death at one point of time. And then it was about dying and getting to that point was cruel.

The things that happened, the sufferings I was made to experience before death and I know death was coming.

But I wasn't quite there yet. I tend to wake up before it really happened.

And then today's... it really tops all the nightmares I had this week - I had in my whole 19 years of existence

Hey, maybe it would seem like nothing. But it felt so real...

So here it goes:

My family and I were at this place and I don't know where we were exactly but definitely not Singapore.

We were by this house by the beach. It wasn't a pretty one by the way. Everything was sullen and troubled.

There were sand everywhere and the ocean. Dark skies that looked like maybe a storm was coming...

Tons of boats were just sitting there. Not at the docks - cos there were none. They were just sitting on the sand just a tad after the point where the waves could touch them.

I'm not too sure why we were in that house but I remembered this guy around my age. Or slightly older being there. I guess he was assigned to assist us in any way if needed.

There was this warning siren that sounds more like an alarm clock's alarm actually.

It wasn't played loudly across the land but the level of loudness was as though as every single house that was on that beach had their own personal one.

When it rang, we hurried and gathered a couple of things so we could evacuate.

I remembered grabbing a small black bagpack and shoving a few clothing and important items into it hastily and then rushing out of the house.

I went to the where all the boats were parked except the one I approached wasn't a boat. I was a raft-like rectangular... well, raft lah.

Everyone was there.

Daddy, Mummy, Kakak, Haziq, Akmal and myself. And the mysterious guy who was assigned to us.

We boarded the raft and made our way into the water.

I don't know what we were running away from but I can say it was a natural disaster. It can't be a tsunami cos we were in the water. It can't be a hurricane either. But there was harsh winds and waves whilst on the raft.

I don't know where we were heading to but I remembered being scared.

I don't quite remember what happened next but something bad happened to me which allowed the guy to save me. And I remembered being horribly wet and he gave me his buttoned down shirt to wear.

We went back to house cos the all clear siren sounded. The disaster did happened.. But it didn't quite hit us. I don't know what really happened next but I remembered fighting with Haziq and bonded with that unknown guy and I kind of started to like him.

A few days later, the siren sounded again. The same thing happened. I took the same small black bagpack and tried my best to evacuate as fast as possible. When we were evacuating the house this chinese girl with specs and pixie hair cut girl came and and wanted to meet Haziq. She needed to tell him something.

She said "see you for band tomorrow".

And of course that wouldn't happen. I remembered saying "Pssshhhhttt. We won't survive this. We're going to die.".

We rushed back to the raft-like boat thing and the siren sounded again. Daddy asked me to keep his wallet or the passports in the side pocket of my bag.

Daddy and Mummy were sitting in front of the boat with their legs in the water while Akmal and I were sitting at the side, crossed legged. And I don't really know where the rest are exactly.

So we set off running away.

We turned left after a corner and saw cars floating in water as well as tons of dead bodies, just floating there. Akmal cried upon seeing the lifeless bodies.

Then we entered this building I guess. We had to go through it. I remembered it was like a maze and we were kicking the walls to help the boat move faster.

After awhile, we exited the building.

And suddenly... there was no more water. Everything was dry. There was land. The funny thing was everything looked normal.. As though like nothing bad has happened.

I saw girl on horse and women helping her. It was really weird but we were thankful that the worst was over.

We alighted the boat and we had to walk past this corridor.

Haziq and kakak first. Akmal and I after, and the parents right behind. People were walking past us too.

We didn't know that there was a gas leak right at the place where we were walking. I guess the only thing that was on our minds were to get away and be safe.

There was this bald guy wearing baggy jeans and he was about my age or maybe slightly older.. He was walking in the opposite direction - passing us - holding an open fire. It looked somewhat of a huge bunsen burner. While he was walking past me.. At that point where he was exactly beside me, I looked to my right. He suddenly looked up and stared straight into my eyes.. And it exploded.

I remembered being flying backwards and burning alive.
And I woke up.

********************

If you ever dreamed of being stabbed before, it hurts sooo bad. Imagine being on fire and getting thrown behind due to an explosion.

:(

I woke up with my mouth hanging open. I was in shock!

I felt the pain and it was horrible.

I called Dzul immediately but he didn't console me. He just went "its just a dream" to me and that he's sleepy.

And you know what?

That hurts even more. Cos that's not a nightmare. That's real.

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Holy.

2011-04-18T13:50:00.000+08:00

I think I just died.

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Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.

2011-04-16T02:20:00.000+08:00

Its harder for us to accept things during tough times as they are and we often choose to pretend that things are alright - just because its soo much easier.

But not choosing the latter one and willing to accept the situation no matter how difficult it may be, that is where true strength comes from.

Sometimes this would mean letting go or something or someone very important to you. But if you are able to accept things as they are rather than as you wish them to be, you will become a much stronger and more grounded person.

Holding on to something could be the same as never changing. It's a bit easier to never change than it is to embrace change, especially if it's change that you don't initiate or like.

Letting go of something can make you very strong. It can also be good for you.

When we hold onto something, it's difficult for us to determine if we would benefit from letting it go or not. Why? Because we are "too close to it".

I don't think it would allow us to make a good decisions because we might have too much emotional attachment to it.
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Feelings.

2011-04-16T01:30:00.000+08:00

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, yes. But prolonged absence makes the heart grow weary.
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Bow chicka wow wow.

2011-04-10T22:35:00.000+08:00

I wish I've got a smaller nose.
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I want to see your insides, my dear.

2011-04-10T22:05:00.000+08:00

Went to the doctor this morning and I had a temperature of 38.1 degree celsius on top of my blocked and running nose, phlegm, cough and sore throat.

Dr Tan gave me a referral letter to go for an x-ray for my lungs tomorrow or Tuesday morning cos I've been coughing way too long!

After taking my lunch and meds, I fell asleep for about 5 hours and it was goooooooood. Dreamed of cute guys too! Me like! I've been dreaming of cutee guys for the past few days. Hehe. =P

Dzul called me at 6.45pm to wake me up so I can take my medicine again (which pissed me off so much!!!) -_-

Ohwell, I'm gonna head back to sleep now. In fact, I'm already tucked in bed.

Gotta love drowsy medicines! I'm so tired of coughing every two seconds.

xo, Nadiah

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XOXO

2011-04-09T20:35:00.000+08:00

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Sickkkk.

2011-04-09T19:55:00.000+08:00

I need to pee but I've got no energy to get out of bed to go to the bathroom... And its just beside my room.

Sigh.

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Cupcake

2011-04-09T07:30:00.000+08:00

I cannot believe I'm using this word but...

Kawaii!

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We're way too open with each other.

2011-04-06T14:05:00.000+08:00

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I finally persuaded Dzul to download WhatsApp!

2011-04-06T04:15:00.000+08:00

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Talking to the moon.

2011-04-06T01:20:00.000+08:00

It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.

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I always forget to blog. Hahahaha

2011-04-03T22:55:00.000+08:00

Hello!!! Hahaha. Me here to blog again. Seriously. I think I'm not for blogging. I won't blog for long I think. Heheh. Sooooo. The day before yesterday was April fool's day. And Babyy tricked me twice. Hmph! Not fair! Cos the first time was cos I'm sleepy. Actually I forgot what she tricked me. Hmmm. But the second also not fair!! She trick me using a sensitive issue. Cannot do thatttt. Hahahah. I'll get her next year!! Confirm!! Heheheh. Anyway yesterday I was working at Underwater World. Quite fun. Hehehe. Saw alot of fishies. And it was my first visit there. Heheh. Will definitely go there again with Babyy in the future. Hahahah. I think Babyy will scold me again for this short post. Well, it's not my faultttt. I don't really talk much. Heheh. Sooooo. I think Babyy just reached home (so late!! Hahahah). It's been long since I went out with her. I wannnnttttt. Miss her alot. Blehhh. Maybe soon. Really really hope we can. Heheheh. I think that's all. That's all in my mind? Heheheh. Byeee! Love youu Babyy.

Nadiah: The first prank was "falling" down the stairs and sprained my ankle.

Foul mood.

2011-03-31T13:21:00.000+08:00

Today isn't a good day for Nur Nadiah. I've had absolutely no sleep and a horrid headache. And when Nadiah doesn't get any sleep, she gets mighty cranky! And I'll have a go with ANYBODY.

Just because I was bored and bitchy.

Had McDonalds breakfast after a very very looong time! Can you spot my Honey Milk Tea without Pearls?!!

Hi hotcake with loads of margarine. (Y)

Okay lah. I feel a tad bit better after taking in sugar. So here's a huge picture of my face.

This is redundant. And I realised that its cock eyed.

BYE!

xo, Nadiah

Chocolate Fudge.

2011-03-31T08:30:00.000+08:00

I never did post my birthday cake so here it is. Taken via BlackBerry. More of my birthday pictures are in my camera. I'll post it up when I'm not too lazy.

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Charizard vs Chikorita!

2011-03-30T20:25:00.000+08:00

TOO CUTE!

Feelings.

2011-03-30T19:07:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not blogging properly, OnSugar. I've beeen lazy lately hence the short/picture posts. At times I do feel like blogging but when I opened OnSugar on my browser I'd stare at the page thinking if I should blog what has been lingering in my mind lately.

I've been blogging on Words mostly cos I felt that whatever I typed out wasn't world wide web friendly.

I've been feeling lost for a while. I feel like I'm stuck in a deep dark hole and I can't seem to see the opening of that hole. I know its up there somewhere and I should try to climb out of the hole but I can't seem to find any roots for me to hold on to so I can make my way up.

In other words, I feel purposeless.

Meeting Ahsin this Friday. FINALLY. The last time I met her was Hari Raya last year? Omggg. She stays at Eunos and I last met her in 2010?! Nonsenseee! Gonna meet Ramo, Hanis and Nash this Sunday and then Aidah next week too! Awesome! Many catch up sessions PLEASE!

Did I mention I baked Oreo and Lemon Cheesecake last week? And it was delicious! I'm such a apt baker, I think. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE baking and I feel like taking classes (But I'm scared that I'll quit halfway. That's what I do. I get bored and quit. Why do I get bored so easily?). I've yet to bake my brownies for Ahsin and Dzul! Meow.

I'm going to get a few bottles of nail polishes now. I'm bored with my french manicure (it started chipping anyway). Thought of painting strawberries on my nails! It will be so cute! *shallow*

I had sushi today by the way. In your face radiation!

xo, Nadiah.

Dzul want Ipad2!!

2011-03-29T20:55:00.000+08:00

I'm restless. Seriously. Very very restless. Long holidays is no good for me. I wanna to something. Or go out. Blehhhh. High fever in the last few days is not helping either. Boooo. Anyway. I wanna workkkkk. I need a job. Seriously. I want the ipad 2!! It's awesome!! But Babyy disagree. Of course she would! She hates apple. I dunno whyyyy. Hahahaha. Oh yeah. I think she angry with me. I don't know why she always angry with me when she calls. Hmmm:( I'm still not used to blogging. I guess it's just not me to type things out? Hahaha. Anyway waiting for Babyy to finish bathing. Sooooo longggg. Dunno what she doing in there. I shall go "check" up in her. *ahem* Heheheh. ;)) Bye!!

Nadiah: Cos BlackBerry is better than Apple.

Food for thoughts.

2011-03-29T02:50:00.000+08:00

Maybe some people should be around your entire life, and others should just make an appearance.

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Hot Chocolate.

2011-03-28T21:00:00.000+08:00

My tummy's full of it.

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A world without weird people is like vanilla ice cream without the sprinkles.

2011-03-27T19:25:00.000+08:00

I was in the kitchen when Daddy entered and he went "Why are you talking to youself, Nadiah?".

F Dzul's L.

2011-03-27T16:15:00.000+08:00

Haha, of course I'm joking with himm :)

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Social Suicide

2011-03-26T19:42:00.000+08:00

Dzul's damn lucky that I dislike Bieber. He looks like a freakin' butch right now lol lol.

Give me strength.

2011-03-26T05:45:00.000+08:00

There is so many things in my mind..
There is so many things I wanna say to you... But I can't.

I can't bear to hurt you.

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I'm blogging? Hahahah

2011-03-25T23:07:00.000+08:00

Okay. So Babyy asked me to blog so here I am? Hahahahah. I'll never get used to blogging. Heheh. Right now I'm having sore throat and could feel a fever coming on. Boooo. This sucks. Anywayyyyy. Had a small(?) fight with Babyy early in the morning. I accidentally fell asleep when she called. And that's when she sounded all down and sad. Like any other time, when I asked her why she's sad, she'll deny it and said it's nothing. It was sooooo super obvious she was!! So I kinda told her off for not admitting and all that. Blehhhh. Seriously, what am I to do? Hate when that happens. She said that it's because we never see each other for awhile. But I already warned her before that this will happen. That's why I was scared to meet her in the first place that first time. I knew in the future that this will happen. And also why I was afraid to be with her long time ago. Long distance is difficult. I know how it'll end up. I thought she won't reacted so strongly like this. It's not that I regret being with her. I love it that I'm with her, but I just don't want to hurt her for not being there all the time. Right now we're already fighting because we barely meet for a few weeks. What happens when I start school? I can only meet her once a month. How will it be then? That's why I always ask her to be patient. Hais. So how? How? How? Hmmmm. I dunno what to do. That's all I guess. Till next time? I hope. Haha. Anyway, love youu Babyy!! <3

Alone.

2011-03-25T20:03:00.000+08:00

#thatawkwardmoment when you're in McDonalds with Honey Milk Tea and Kimchi Fried Rice and slack for hours without buying anything.

Life isn't the same when this happens.

2011-03-25T19:50:00.000+08:00

Seriously. To whom am I gonna whine to?

What kind of wedding?

2011-03-25T15:20:00.000+08:00

“I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance, a celebration together with family and friends. I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for, he said one that would make me his wife.”

So I asked the same to Dzul...

Me: What kind of wedding do you wish for?
Baby: A big grand one? But I don't think I'll be able to afford.
Me: So not aww lah you!

Best Fries Forever.

2011-03-25T13:15:00.000+08:00

Literally.

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Nineteen.

2011-03-23T02:01:00.000+08:00

Many love and thanks to Claire, Dzulfikhar, Idrus, Bazli, Fadly, Badrul, Kakak Suhana, Abang Aadil, Hasyiqa, Michelle, Chian Hwee, Halif, Atiqah, Joyce, Hafizul, Fahmy, Zamirah, Adi, Rameza, Haziq, Angela, Nasyirah, Hanis, Ahmad Fahmy, Azroy, Kian Wei, Shofiyah, Humaira, Nadhirah ,Victor, Ahsin, Amalina, Rudy, Belle, Edwin, Mei Yin, Jia Hui, Fernelli, Xin Jie, Shu Min, Wayne, Grace, Kakak Imah, Shima, Nicholas, Sumith, Shamira, Zul Anaqi, Kak Piah, Kak Nur, Faizal, Supparek, Tasneem, Melissa, Hairiani, Shirley, Bik Sri, Siti Umairah Adnan, Hidayah, Siti Umairah Salleh, Akmal, Mummy and the other people who wished me! :)

*********************

I didn't do anything on my birthday as per normal. I had my yummy kimchi fried rice and honey milk tea! Mad love! And Mummy bought me a Chocolate Fudge Cake so we had that and played wii at night... In my carebear nightie. Lol.

Dzul celebrated my birthday on the nineteenth of March instead. I don't mind not celebrating my birthday but he insisted even though it was a belated thing...

Soo, the boyfriend fetched me at Pasir Ris MRT and we headed to Vivo City. Initially the boyfriend had planned to have a picnic at East Coast with Pizza Hut but I told him it was going to rain (and it did!) so his plans got changed.

I've only been to Vivo twice before this. Once, when I was in Sec 3 and once when Boyfriend and I were going to Universal Studios Singapore (which hardly even counts cos we only went there for the monorail) HENCE I agreed to Vivo.

And wow, vivo sucks. Lol.. Sorryyyy but there's nothing much to do there! We were like two lost puppies there cos we don't know what to dooo. AND don't know where to go lol.

Thennnn, Dzul got pretty annoyed and went "this sucks" or "shit lah" (I can't rememebr which) but it hurt my feelings quite badly. You see, I didn't meet him for THREE WEEKS! To be precise, three whole fucking weeks and a day! And to see him for the first time after awhile, him being annoyed and saying that, I don't know. I kinda felt sad cos he felt that way. While he was with me. =/

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhh. Heh.

Anyways, we decided (rather I decided) to have out late lunch/early dinner at Secret Recipe.

I had the Grilled Chicken served with herb rice and fresh garden salad with Black Pepper Sauce and Iced Tea.

And Dzul had the Chicken Cordon Bleu - Boneless chicken chop stuffed with chicken ham and cheese served with french fries and fresh garden salad and Espirit Sparkling Fruit Drink (Passionfruit).

I wanted what Dzul had initially but he said that I couldn't have that cos of the cheese. And apparently according to his theory, people who have cough aren't allowed to eat dairy. -_-

So after eating (I took my own sweet time as usual), we decided to walk around Vivo and then towards 7-eleven (YAY TO SLURPEE!) and then we ended up at the book store where we slacked for a bit. I wanted to flip through the 2011 Guiness Book of Records but I couldn't find any without the plastic covering.... until I saw one in the hands of this angmoh soooo, I took it from him muahahahaha. He was done with it anyways!

I love flipping through this book! I've done it every year without fail! =D

Dzul wanted to visit the manga section afterwards -___________-

And Nadiah followed... and tried to distract him. Hehehe. And we got horny ;p

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I swear, I didn't do anything except walk backwards! Ahem.

Headed to Starbucks for more slacking + played with my netbook and then ventured to Harbourfront Mall afterwards cos I was realllllyyyy curious! (Ehhh, lai lets go batam lol)

********************

Strolled along the harbour with Baby by my side, holding my hand and just looking at the picturesque view of Sentosa Island and the beautiful night sky.

Then we kissed. ♥

It was perfect. Everything was perfect. The company, the surroundings and it was romantic and I didnt want it to stop ever.. it was just what I needed...

Soo, the day felt more like any other day which is alright with me cos any time spent with the boyfriend is a gift to me. You being by my side is all I need Baby. :')

Dzulfikhar gave me roses and an engraved charm bracelet!!! Thank you Baby! I love you! ♥

xoxo, Nadiah

I miss you.

2011-03-22T02:55:00.000+08:00

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Close to you.

2011-03-21T18:15:00.000+08:00

Spending time with you is my happy time. I'm just sad that the time is limited.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Hope Tangles on a String

It doesn't matter what you think about me.

I'm sad.

Time, why won't you stop?

Ghost.

Insomnia.

Dear heart, please don't cry.

One day, I'll be standing right there.

Giving your heart to somebody, that's the scary part.

I don't want.. I just want..

Stole my breath away.

I want to..

When a boy does this to a girl..

Who Are You When I'm Not Looking.

Under your thumb, I can't breathe.

The type of kisses where teeth collide.

Facade.

17September2011

Reverse Zoo.

HAHAHA!

I didn't know I'm bisexual.

No one...

Conflicted.

When you feel so out of place...

Quote

If you can survive, you must remember that I love you.

Eid ♥

Broken smile.

Save me from falling apart?

Quote

Love the way you lie.

Strawberries vs Dendeng.

I should.

Chocolate Chip Cornflakes Macaroons.

Wilton Tips

August Ninth.

Hari Raya Bazaar Geylang 2011

Far far away.

Its just a matter of time.

No, I'm not dead. I'm just lazy.

Superhero name.

Someday karma will bite you in the ass, and I'm going to laugh.

43. I hate it when someone younger than me is being a total bitch by acting like they know everything.

*sings* I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!

Jar of Hearts.

Dark Shokolatttttttttt.

Hi I'm Nads. And that's Dzul.

Like the ends of a magnet.

Vanilla Chocolate Scented Candles.

Perhaps?

The breezy whiffs of salt.

If you don't have trust, you have nothing.

In the meantime...

Always.

To grow old with you.

Recent things.

Cos I haven't blogged in a while...

Thoughts.

Mother's Day.

Well, it's always better when we're together. Yeah it's always better when we're together.

The only news I read is from following st.com on Twitter.

Amethyst.

Ichigo!

Rants.

The world doesn't revolve around you. Don't flatter yourself.

This is why I love you.

Good (Screaming) Friday.

Koi Koi Koi!

Bronchitis.

Nightmares.

Holy.

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.

Feelings.

Bow chicka wow wow.

I want to see your insides, my dear.

XOXO

Sickkkk.

Cupcake

We're way too open with each other.

I finally persuaded Dzul to download WhatsApp!

sings I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!